microcock

So, raking around and saw Windows Media Player 11 is out. Only service pack 2 people, but of course I can't verify my copy of Windows for some strange reason. Then I see this feature of the new player:

Advanced audio fingerprinting

With large digital music libraries, tracks usually comes from a number of different places, with varying levels of accurate media information (metadata). It's often hard to ensure all of your tracks are tagged appropriately. In addition to automated metadata tools that run in the background, Windows Media Player 11 now includes audio waveform matching that builds on existing media information features and precisely pinpoints the exact album information for your tracks.

How does this work? As you start ripping CDs into Windows Media Player 11, information is compiled through a database and waveforms are matched to identify the song. Information is verified and then attached to the song or album.

So here's the scenario. It's a bit like Terminator, with Zyberdine or whatever. Giant multi-faced, multi-owned, multi-bazillion dollar company, who happen to be inside your house and in charge of your record collection, and they send everyone an email one night saying "you know that file called 02 - Unknown - Various.mp3 on your drive, well we analysed it and it's actually called Love Story (stanton warriors remix), on an album called Love Story (vS Finally) by Layo and Bushwacka! Hey, when you reboot, we'll rename that file, and put it with the other newly renamed (and re-listed, we even know the difference between late nite chill and laid back budhha beats) tracks in a new directory and we even remembered that one track you preferred and marked it again. Oh yeah, and if you don't stick the CD in the drive within 24hrs, we'll delete the files, and send someone round for a cheque for £15 plus £50 admin fee. Probably just take your hard drive and have it scanned for other

Brick

BRICK by Rian Johnson, is pish.
It's a classic old school film noir homage, full of mumbled dialogue and overly stylised unrealistic acting, played out against a California high school backdrop, and seemingly gushed over by critics around the world. It won Special Jury Prize for Originality of Vision at Sundance, which is strange, as it rips off Twin Peaks, Midnight Cowboy and shed loads of old hard boiled detective films along the way. Sorry, I meant to say it plays homage to other films. Anyhoo, that kid from 3rd Rock mumbles his way through the film, spouting enigmatic utterances and generally affecting a High Plains Drifter stylee level of acting. Nothing surprises him, not even finding his dead ex lying in a storm tunnel. Nothing hurts him. He's too cool for school for that. Gets kicked in & stabbed occasionally, coughs a bit, sorted.

The king pin baddie is played by that kid that pushed the granny around in Mars Attacks, and he's obviously a fan of Bobby de Niro eating the eggs in Angel Heart - all sitting around in grande clothes in big chairs, waiving canes around, and many other clear indications of devilness.

Anyway, it's guff. Far too clever for its own good, with an inaudible soundtrack, acting of the highest and dullest method calibre, and only occasionally interesting. Or maybe the cinema was too hot. Whatever. The Brick Bradford thing looks pretty good though, eh?

monday night. Wow,that one day off flew by....

OK, you heard it here first. If anyone steals this idea, I'll sue. It's pomegranate juice, in a martini glass, with gin. You could probably add a twist of lime, or stick straws on the outside with a drop of water, or somesuch thing. Risk looking light a twat when it falls off. Speaking of which I was at a party up in Glenuig. Knocked together a tasty cocktail, crushed ice out of the van 'n all, and swaggered up the entrance and towards the grooving main hall and dropped it 3 foot from the door.
BASTARD! never fucking fails, I tells ya.
Anyway, back to the cocktail, its tasty as. If someone else has previously thought of it, send me proof and I shall credit you. Yeah, right. Anyhoo, I'm calling it the The Thingumini, naw, a Caipirinhagranate, pish, how about a Ribbed Velvet? Sounds a bit rude. Probably need to beef it up a bit with something else boozy and another fruit juice. Or how about crushed lime, gin, crushed ice and pomegranate juice? Haven't got any juice, the one above is a cheat. It's cranberry juice, but as soon as I tasted it, I new it would have been better with the big P. All hail it's tasty little seedlettes...
Have you seen this dump on Princes Street. It's nowhere near as bad as those infernal tartan 99pound store monstrosities. Wailing shriekingness, skirling through your very core as you hurry past. Shut them down immediately. Anyhoo, our current favourite window display is yonder to the left, with everythinh you might need for a gift, or more. Marilyn Monroetm, cast in the basest of metals, coated in purest chrome extract, and lovingly detailed in Brassesquetm. And who wouldn't want a cuddly Garfield, newly rebranded to better suit the funny funny face of Bill I used to try at least Murray. Rubics cube lighter anyone? Didn't think so. Masking tape? Possibly. "I love Wales" key-ring... I'll just stop there I think.
Hey here's a crazy thought.... shut it down. Or better yet, anyone caught buying something there, who isn't stoned, gets there eyes poked out. Seems fair. Sue me if I'm wrong....