monday night. Wow,that one day off flew by....

OK, you heard it here first. If anyone steals this idea, I'll sue. It's pomegranate juice, in a martini glass, with gin. You could probably add a twist of lime, or stick straws on the outside with a drop of water, or somesuch thing. Risk looking light a twat when it falls off. Speaking of which I was at a party up in Glenuig. Knocked together a tasty cocktail, crushed ice out of the van 'n all, and swaggered up the entrance and towards the grooving main hall and dropped it 3 foot from the door.
BASTARD! never fucking fails, I tells ya.
Anyway, back to the cocktail, its tasty as. If someone else has previously thought of it, send me proof and I shall credit you. Yeah, right. Anyhoo, I'm calling it the The Thingumini, naw, a Caipirinhagranate, pish, how about a Ribbed Velvet? Sounds a bit rude. Probably need to beef it up a bit with something else boozy and another fruit juice. Or how about crushed lime, gin, crushed ice and pomegranate juice? Haven't got any juice, the one above is a cheat. It's cranberry juice, but as soon as I tasted it, I new it would have been better with the big P. All hail it's tasty little seedlettes...
Have you seen this dump on Princes Street. It's nowhere near as bad as those infernal tartan 99pound store monstrosities. Wailing shriekingness, skirling through your very core as you hurry past. Shut them down immediately. Anyhoo, our current favourite window display is yonder to the left, with everythinh you might need for a gift, or more. Marilyn Monroetm, cast in the basest of metals, coated in purest chrome extract, and lovingly detailed in Brassesquetm. And who wouldn't want a cuddly Garfield, newly rebranded to better suit the funny funny face of Bill I used to try at least Murray. Rubics cube lighter anyone? Didn't think so. Masking tape? Possibly. "I love Wales" key-ring... I'll just stop there I think.
Hey here's a crazy thought.... shut it down. Or better yet, anyone caught buying something there, who isn't stoned, gets there eyes poked out. Seems fair. Sue me if I'm wrong....